“I don’t like your hair like that. It makes you look old.” “Why would a grown woman dye her hair pink!?!” “You really need to start going back to church. ” “You really need to . . . (fill in the blank, the options seemed endless)”
The comments seemed to keep coming. After a long day of criticism and unwanted advice, I ran by the grocery store for comfort food. The cashier was so rude I couldn’t decide if I should slap her face or cry.
I finally made it home and noticed my husband had made lunch and not cleaned up after himself. There were crumbs and smears of mayonnaise on the counter. The dishes were piled in the sink. I went into the living to complain and found him soundly sleeping in his recliner, oblivious to the world and my complaints.
I needed to escape so I threw on my running clothes and headed down the road, but I couldn’t shake the ugliness inside of me. I was angry and hurt. The world wasn’t fair. My chest felt like it was holding back a flood of tears. My legs just hurt. I thought my head would explode. I knew my blood pressure was getting higher and higher because my ears started ringing.
So what the hell is wrong with me???
I slowed down and focused on breathing.
#1 – Just because somebody has an opinion doesn’t mean it’s right! WOW! Sometimes I believe everybody has the right answers except me. For years I’ve listened my family members and people in positions of authority as though they held the secrets to the universe. Hey…maybe I hold the secret! At least I need to give myself a little more air time. I realize I can be wrong, but sometimes I can be right.
#2 – Why should somebody’s opinion affect me? Another person’s opinions and thoughts don’t have to mean anything to me unless I want them to. Maybe I do look ridiculous with pink hair but I like it and at the end of the day, isn’t that really all that matters?
#3 – How important is it? How important is it that hubby sleeps in his recliner? I get some tv time that way. The dogs are acting crazy but do I have to get involved if nobody and nothing is being damaged? How often do I find myself stressed out by things that I could so easily ignore? Maybe I don’t “approve” of what somebody else is doing, but it doesn’t have to affect me…in the same way another person’s lack of approval doesn’t have to “harsh my mellow.”
#5 – MY LIFE! MY TIME! MY HAIR! What do “I” want? When I’m on my deathbed (hopefully a long time from now), what will I regret? What will make me smile? If I quiet down just a bit, I can hear my soul whisper her desires and needs. I just have to listen. I choose to be happy today. I choose to be calm. I choose to stay in my peaceful place and you can only come in if I let you.