I am Deeper than Spring

I prefer summer to winter: the hot sun to the cold wind. I’ve always tried to avoid the sensations of winter. In the military, I developed a mind over matter trick in which I would imagine standing in front of a roaring fire. This little trick calmed me enough to be able to endure guard duty in -20 degrees Fahrenheit. Avoidance has always been the name of the game for me when it comes to discomfort. If I can’t physically move away from the pain, I would find a way to do so mentally.

Cupcake Annie and our dearly missed, Winnie, playing
in the snow years ago. Cold didn’t slow them down

But a few days ago, I decided to try something new – I would truly experience the cold, no mind games, no pretend world. The temperature wasn’t extreme, 28 degrees, but far outside my comfort zone. While walking the dogs, I leaned into the cold, allowing myself to feel all of it, acknowledging the bitter sting in my face and the shudder of my body. The dogs were unfazed, joyfully running ahead of me.

Hill country snow

All around me the world continued in the cold – the bare trees sleeping through the frigid morning, the whitetail buck still frisky and looking for love, the meadowlarks gathering seeds, and those grasses pregnant with seed sending their children into the wind. Even the stones waiting patiently for eons endured the January morning, unmoving but watching it all unfold. The Divine Presence that permeates All That Is accepts the winter, accepts the deaths, accepts the perceived discomforts as part of The Whole. It just ‘is.’

“To those who stand naked in the holy wilderness of life, embracing all shadows of self, I bow to you.”

― Earthschool Harmony, Back to Grace

I suddenly realized that this is shadow work: to stand in the cold, with the wind tearing at your face while tears freeze in the corners of your eyes and accept it…feel it…even embrace it. Because I am more than summer…I am deeper than spring…I am darker than autumn…I am winter too.

Thank you to Sylvia at EquiSol Shamanic Healing Center for guiding me to a place of openness. If you’re interested in finding a sanctuary to explore your Shadow, retrieve those lost pieces of your Divine authentic self, and further explore the sacred, I highly recommend EquiSol:


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