Lesson One: Watermelon

The Art of Watermelon
A neighbor gave us a watermelon after Barry put out a small fire for him. I should have photographed it. But I saw it and that memory is preserved. The watermelon existed for a moment the way we all do, I suppose. Art and beauty once created, are like truth. They can never be undone. And I think maybe like we and the watermelon are like art, beauty, and truth.
Anyway, I cut it up to put it in Tupperware (well Gladdware or whatever it’s called) and Winnie came begging. That dog will eat anything! Of course, Cupcake had to try it too but she immediately spit her piece on the floor. Don’t worry – nothing was wasted. Winnie swooped right in. I guess not everybody appreciates watermelon the same way.
I marveled at the smell and texture of the melon – the way the hard, thick rind housed such a delicate fruit that literally melts under pressure. Again I thought about how much I have in common with that melon.
I chopped the rind into small pieces. Before I sat down to enjoy my treat, I wanted to give the cows their treat. Pretty cow met me at the gate. She recognizes the grey bucket. She’s getting so old. She’s 23 now and actually calved last year. She has no teeth but she can gum up some watermelon rind. All the other girls came too, but Pretty Cow is Alpha Cow and gets the best of the best.
I have to brag – she’s so intelligent. A piece was on the ground and I pointed to it. Area 51 Cow and #68 both tried to bite my pointing finger but Pretty Cow actually looked at the place to which I pointed.
I came home, washed cow slobber off my hands and arms and sat down with my melon. I decided this was a chance to really practice mindfulness. I would sit in silence and savor my food. I don’t think I ever really tasted watermelon – not TRULY tasted. I tend to scarf food. Maybe it’s some primordial instinct – eat it all before the others come. But I settled into the safety of my couch and slowly savored each bit. I smelled it. I looked at it. I ate it. My hunger and thirst were both satiated, but something even deeper felt satisfied…I felt alive and safe. I felt unhurried. I didn’t have to think about anything but the melon. I think I felt “mindfulness.” So this was Lesson One. A simple lesson but it’s a good start for the journey.
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Pretty about 13 years ago…

 

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I just wanna sit on the porch!

I’ve shared so much supposed “wisdom” on this blog.   I claimed to follow the Universe’s lead and listen to my Soul.  But here I am again: Overwhelmed and overwrought without enough time to make a phone call or post a blog.  How does this keep happening?

Today as I write this, I feel so out of balance. Sadness seems to have consumed me and I’m fighting it. Two years ago yesterday my nephew died. And next week it will be two years since my brother died. I’m thinking about death a lot. I’m afraid of losing  people I really love. I believe there is more after this life but I don’t “KNOW.”  I want to KNOW for SURE without any doubts. But I guess none of us have that.  Some folks claim to believe/know but that’s generally BS. Most of us (ALL?) faced with death will still be afraid.

Life is short. Too damn short. I want to squeeze so much into it…and squeeze so much out of it. I’m wringing the hell out life!  But it’s too much. . . . I’m trying too hard. Days are cluttered and I can’t really focus on the things that matter.

What really matters?   What are those shiny moments? What makes me happy?

When I think of HAPPY…

I think of my dogs… and cats…family…friends…running…laughing…food…

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Life is too short to be anything but happy. Love deeply, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything with no regrets and forget the past with exception of what you have learned and remember everything happens for a reason. (anonymous)

 

And do what YOU want to do…not what you think you SHOULD do or what you think others expect you to do. Say NO to those things that steal your energy. Say YES to the things that make your heart happy.

For now, I just want to sit on my porch and watch hummingbirds.anotherone

 

 

Wearing my errors with style and grace

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Bella has a cozy spot where she feels safe and secure.  It’s inside one of the best cat inventions yet: the pop-open kitty cube. When the house gets crazy, and the dogs act like wild ones, she goes to this hiding spot.  Sometimes, all curled up, she seems almost smug in her little corner of the world.

I find myself smug like that sometimes. Secure in my little world, sure of myself and my knowledge. But if somebody messes with my cube, I get angry.

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So often Sparky tries to play with Bella while she’s happily purring in her cube. And equally often he ends up with a claw on the nose and . . . occasionally he gets his head stuck. But it never seems to bother him….he just runs around the house, quite proud of himself and his newest accessory. Very stylish in the dog world, I hear.

The other day I found myself in an argument. I was 150% sure that I was right.  I didn’t doubt myself for a moment. When somebody attempted to correct me, I turned vicious, throwing some profanity into my defense.

I was no longer sweet little Bella curled up in my cube.  I discovered I was wrong and my head was stuck in the cube. There was my denying it…my head was completely STUCK! I swallowed hard and then decided to sit in silence, brewing and fuming in my “wrongness” and trying to find a reason…an excuse or maybe a loophole.

Periscoping my red face out of my cube, I glanced around the room. Yep, they were watching…oh woe is me. What do I do now?  I look like a fool. I look ridiculous!

*GULP* I swallowed that big bitter lump of pride and…I wore the cube with grace…I said THOSE words…

I WAS WRONG! 

And it wasn’t that bad…actually it felt kinda good. Almost like a relief. I don’t have to be infallible. I can be human. I was wrong and the ceiling didn’t cave in around me ears.  The room of people didn’t laugh at me.

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I was wrong! I was wrong!

WOW! I look good in a cube.  I’m kinda cute in my humanness/dogness.

So like Sparky, I just pranced around the room with my cube around my neck, wagging my tail the rest of the day.

 

 

When lightning strikes my sleepy little mind . . .

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I’m not really sure what’s going on lately but SOMEBODY out there is trying to get me wake up and pay attention. Seems each day presents a new lesson.

I’m new to this blogging business and I’ll probably be the only person to ever read this but at least I’ll be able to track these lessons and miracles of synchronicity.

Guess I’ll start with the title…When I grow up, I want to be a dog. The other morning I was running and started thinking about how wonderful life would be if I could go into each day as if that day was the first day of school. Each morning, I’d start with sharpened pencils and a mind open to new adventures. I’d walk through my life ready to make new friends at every turn. I’d join clubs and take naps and get outside during recess regardless of the weather. Each moment would be be exciting!

And then I saw it…the meme that made me realize my spiritual goal in this life: I want to grow up to be a dog!

“We live our lives as if nothing is a miracle, dogs live their lives as if everything is a miracle.”

Quote by aplacetolovedogs.com  Read more at http://www.aplacetolovedogs.com/2010/05/dogs-inspirational-original-2/1486590638/#AJHVfIkyFCUuuGzI.99

So that’s the goal… to seek miracles. NO – not “seek”…to SEE miracles. The miracles are there. I just have to wake up and see them.  And so I’ll share miracles here and lessons I’m learning. I’ll try to be honest as I’m capable of being. Of course, the dog version of me would be perfectly belly-up, butt-sniffing honest. I’m working on it.

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