I still walk with a limp. I had my knee surgery over a year ago and most of the time it doesn’t hurt me. There’s really no physical reason for it, but I still walk with a limp.
I think we all have limps. Some are more pronounced and affect our lives in crazier ways. Others are little things…
Like my feet (which aren’t little things at all…hell, they’re BIG things…size 10 or 10 1/2 things). Someone told me repeatedly when I was young that my feet were ugly and freakish things. And for almost 50 years I’ve been ashamed to wear sandals.
I told a friend about my “foot fetish” and she replied, “Think of the places those feet have carried you.” My feet have been good to me…they ran two full marathons, carried mail, marched in formation, danced in some wild nightclubs. My feet yearn to hang out of the end of my sheets, even on the coldest days. Cupcake likes to lick my feet. I have a reflexologist friend who can change my mood and open my sinuses, just by rubbing my feet. These feet are remarkable!
So recently I’ve decided to quit giving any more damns. I bought a pair of open toed sandals. I will allow my feet to frolic freely without inhibitions.
It’s amazing how a few thoughtless words from somebody 40-50 years ago can leave us with a limp. These old injuries keep us from singing aloud, wearing sandals, painting, dancing, loving and just plain old living! But it’s not too late to realize you really don’t HAVE to limp …it’s never too late to buy sandals and set your tootsies free!
Moses is 17 years old. He has chunks missing from his ears. His fur is less than luxurious. But he doesn’t let it stop him from believing he is King of the World!
(I took all the photos around Voca, TX – – such a beautiful spring!)
I’ve been lost . . . for a long time, I think . . .
There is beauty wild messiness. . .
Sometime during the last few decades, pieces of me died. Things that once burned brightly, faded. I can still feel a tiny flicker under my ribs, but it’s just a faint warmth.
I got caught up in being accepted…being loved…being kind…being like everyone else…
(How honest should I be in this blog? If I share too much somebody might feel hurt…but isn’t that the attitude that got me here in the first place?)
I SOLD OUT.
I traded my spark for conformity. I traded freedom for safety. And I lost myself.
No audience is necessary for beauty to exist… no approval needed.
I learned something the other day as I walked/ran (wan or ralked) with the dogs. The aroma of trees in bloom was bewitching. I found myself inhaling more deeply than I usually do. I realized I was being beautifully seduced by these wise, wild arboreal beings…actually by all things green and fragrant. As I inhaled the air, I benefitted from the oxygen and the enchanting scent. When I exhaled, I returned the favor as carbon dioxide. I visualized ribbons of CO2 rising to meet imaginary nostrils on leaves.
Without effort…without sacrifice…without losing myself, I was able to be a part of the circle simply by BE-ing. With a simple breath I gave easily and easily received.
Pollination starts with a thirst…with a desire…