(I took all the photos around Voca, TX – – such a beautiful spring!)
I’ve been lost . . . for a long time, I think . . .
There is beauty wild messiness. . .
Sometime during the last few decades, pieces of me died. Things that once burned brightly, faded. I can still feel a tiny flicker under my ribs, but it’s just a faint warmth.
I got caught up in being accepted…being loved…being kind…being like everyone else…
(How honest should I be in this blog? If I share too much somebody might feel hurt…but isn’t that the attitude that got me here in the first place?)
I SOLD OUT.
I traded my spark for conformity. I traded freedom for safety. And I lost myself.
No audience is necessary for beauty to exist… no approval needed.
I learned something the other day as I walked/ran (wan or ralked) with the dogs. The aroma of trees in bloom was bewitching. I found myself inhaling more deeply than I usually do. I realized I was being beautifully seduced by these wise, wild arboreal beings…actually by all things green and fragrant. As I inhaled the air, I benefitted from the oxygen and the enchanting scent. When I exhaled, I returned the favor as carbon dioxide. I visualized ribbons of CO2 rising to meet imaginary nostrils on leaves.
Without effort…without sacrifice…without losing myself, I was able to be a part of the circle simply by BE-ing. With a simple breath I gave easily and easily received.
Pollination starts with a thirst…with a desire…
Yesterday I was so blessed to be able to attend the Texas Conference for Women with a dear friend. The caliber of speakers was impressive. The final keynotes were Patricia Arquette and Robin Roberts. I even got to shake hands with Robin and have my photo taken. (I want to point out that, YES, she’s taller in the photo BUT I’m wearing flats and she was wearing heels- and some amazing heels they were!).
Robin shared the title of book “Everybody’s Got Something” was a “momma-ism.” When Robin would complain about some misfortune, pain or seeming affliction, her mother would tell her “Everybody’s got something.” Her mother was a jewel box of pearls of wisdom.
How true!!!!!!! EVERYBODY HAS SOMETHING…and EVERYBODY has OVERCOME SOMETHING….and EVERYBODY is SOMETHING.
Meeting new women, I see that each woman has an amazing story to tell. I started thinking of the women in my life and how each one has lived a life worthy of a novel. These stories deserve to be celebrated and shared. Most importantly, we can learn from each other and find inspiration.
SO……I’ve already talked to one friend and plan on talking to more. I want to do a something different with this blog…I want to share these stories of inspiration and achievement.
Don’t despair! It’s in keeping with my theme – when I grow up, I want to be a dog. Dogs meet new people and sniff then all over. They want to know every secret odor. Dogs dance with joy each time they see someone they love. They understand how to celebrate each individual.
So I plan on sniffing my friends and sharing their unique scents. I plan on celebrating each one with a Snoopy Dance of Joy and a blog post.